Monday, September 07, 2020
It's been an exceptionally weird quarantimes summer. Like, more weird than I could ever have imagined. I quit my job in January, before shit hit the fan, because my friends on my trivia team were cognizant of the fact that shit was going to hit the fan, and the job I was at was actively encouraging people to come in to work while sick. As someone who had a particularly bad strain of pneumonia a decade ago, I'm not about to fuck around with illnesses that fuck your lungs.
Somehow, I managed get a job during a fucking worldwide pandemic that caused the second "once in a lifetime" depression of my life. I bought a new car to alow myself to commute to said new job, because that bus life isn't up to par as it is in Canada. I bought a car that gets at least 45 miles per gallon, and over 50, depending on where I'm driving, so, not an American car because Americans just don't give a fuck about that kind of thing.
Shit got even weirder when the girl I had the most massice crush on during junior high and high schoole friended me on the facespace. A year ago, it was supposed to be our twentieth year high school reunion, but everyone who had more than half a brain moved the fuck out of there, so our president wasn't around to plan a reunion, so folks that had moved away and were tech savvy started a facespace group where we talked about what the fuck happened in the ensuing twenty years. That girl that I had a massive crush on, who was out valedictorian, shared a story of her struggles that are almost wildly uncharacteristic of what you think valedictorians go through, unless they're Jessie Spano taking caffeine pills. I shared my story of becoming disabled because of bullshit. The girl I had the biggest crush of my life frieded me on the facespace. I'm not trying to make a thing out of it, but, like, my time in high school was not good. I forced myself to go to school some days telling myself maybe she'd see me that day and wave or smile. Every semester first day, I got excited because maybe we'd have a class together. Me and the valedictorian never had a class together apart from keyboarding in the 8th grade and band classes in junior high. So, when I received a friend request, my life flashed before me. This person knows who I am? The girl who 18 year old me thought was hotter than Mira Sorvino acknolowedged my existence? Like what the actual fuck?
I'm still not about to talk to her, even after she friended me. I've sanitized my facespace as best I can without removing the warts that are important to me. But, man, this shit's fucked me up. Like, her life hasn't been sunshine, lollipops, and roses, but she's still exceptionally hot, like Mena Suvari has nothing on her in my head, and I'd give anything to be able to say words to her that didn't sound absolutely fucking stupid. I don't even know how to begin that conversation. Common sense suggests saying "Hi" is a good opener, but experience suggests that's an awful attempt at opening communication. I'm beyond well aware that I've built her up in my head more than is healthy, believe me, I've had melatonin dreams about her, because I don't sleep without melatonin anymore, which suggests how unhealthy I am, I think.
said Tommy T. at 5:18 PM - #
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Somehow, I managed get a job during a fucking worldwide pandemic that caused the second "once in a lifetime" depression of my life. I bought a new car to alow myself to commute to said new job, because that bus life isn't up to par as it is in Canada. I bought a car that gets at least 45 miles per gallon, and over 50, depending on where I'm driving, so, not an American car because Americans just don't give a fuck about that kind of thing.
Shit got even weirder when the girl I had the most massice crush on during junior high and high schoole friended me on the facespace. A year ago, it was supposed to be our twentieth year high school reunion, but everyone who had more than half a brain moved the fuck out of there, so our president wasn't around to plan a reunion, so folks that had moved away and were tech savvy started a facespace group where we talked about what the fuck happened in the ensuing twenty years. That girl that I had a massive crush on, who was out valedictorian, shared a story of her struggles that are almost wildly uncharacteristic of what you think valedictorians go through, unless they're Jessie Spano taking caffeine pills. I shared my story of becoming disabled because of bullshit. The girl I had the biggest crush of my life frieded me on the facespace. I'm not trying to make a thing out of it, but, like, my time in high school was not good. I forced myself to go to school some days telling myself maybe she'd see me that day and wave or smile. Every semester first day, I got excited because maybe we'd have a class together. Me and the valedictorian never had a class together apart from keyboarding in the 8th grade and band classes in junior high. So, when I received a friend request, my life flashed before me. This person knows who I am? The girl who 18 year old me thought was hotter than Mira Sorvino acknolowedged my existence? Like what the actual fuck?
I'm still not about to talk to her, even after she friended me. I've sanitized my facespace as best I can without removing the warts that are important to me. But, man, this shit's fucked me up. Like, her life hasn't been sunshine, lollipops, and roses, but she's still exceptionally hot, like Mena Suvari has nothing on her in my head, and I'd give anything to be able to say words to her that didn't sound absolutely fucking stupid. I don't even know how to begin that conversation. Common sense suggests saying "Hi" is a good opener, but experience suggests that's an awful attempt at opening communication. I'm beyond well aware that I've built her up in my head more than is healthy, believe me, I've had melatonin dreams about her, because I don't sleep without melatonin anymore, which suggests how unhealthy I am, I think.
said Tommy T. at 5:18 PM - #
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