Sunday, March 31, 2019
My alcohol free month was going fine until last night, while switching between Hockey Night in Canada and Law and Order: SVU, my buddy sent me a photograph from almost twenty years ago that sent me into a deep existential crisis. I look at myself at what is probably half my current age and I don't know who the fuck that even is. I mean, I'm obviously aware the guy in the back with the tank top is me, but when the fuck did I ever look that good in a beater? And, god, I miss that sweatshirt with the anti-swastika patch. I remember that night we were seeing Mustard Plug with a band opening for them called The Velveteens who are criminally not on Spotify, but they were a phenomenal east coast ska band. I recall something about that night, possibly seeing a guy on a crotch rocket get hit by a car on the way to the show. I probably danced myself into a pulled muscle because that was my thing ska shows in those days. There was a shirtless guy dancing who was easily the sweatiest person I've ever seen in my life.
I wish I could talk to that kid, tat was easily the height of straight edge Tommy. When I talk about myself, I always say that if my past self saw me now, he'd kick my ass. The person in that picture is who I'm referring to as the one who would kick my ass.I want to ask that guy what he thinks the future holds because I'm pretty sure back then I had just as much of an idea of the future as I have right now. I want to tell that kid to keep his head up, it's gonna far worse than he can possibly comprehend and that's no excuse for my behavior, but sometimes it doesn't completely suck.
Fortunately, I received that picture after a day of walking around catching Pokemon and had no energy to go out and get a six pack of something hoppy. If I did, I would've gotten pizza. I realized this morning that I had to get out of the house again because my trigger for drinking is boredom and being trapped inside with my thoughts about how much I miss that guy and his usable left side and absolute freedom to dye his hair crazy colors and his style would necessitate at least forty ounces. At this point, I'm okay, I've got my custom turntable in a shopping cart, ready for if I can make it.
I just can't stop thinking about that kid.
said Tommy T. at 8:00 PM - #
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My alcohol free month was going fine until last night, while switching between Hockey Night in Canada and Law and Order: SVU, my buddy sent me a photograph from almost twenty years ago that sent me into a deep existential crisis. I look at myself at what is probably half my current age and I don't know who the fuck that even is. I mean, I'm obviously aware the guy in the back with the tank top is me, but when the fuck did I ever look that good in a beater? And, god, I miss that sweatshirt with the anti-swastika patch. I remember that night we were seeing Mustard Plug with a band opening for them called The Velveteens who are criminally not on Spotify, but they were a phenomenal east coast ska band. I recall something about that night, possibly seeing a guy on a crotch rocket get hit by a car on the way to the show. I probably danced myself into a pulled muscle because that was my thing ska shows in those days. There was a shirtless guy dancing who was easily the sweatiest person I've ever seen in my life.
I wish I could talk to that kid, tat was easily the height of straight edge Tommy. When I talk about myself, I always say that if my past self saw me now, he'd kick my ass. The person in that picture is who I'm referring to as the one who would kick my ass.I want to ask that guy what he thinks the future holds because I'm pretty sure back then I had just as much of an idea of the future as I have right now. I want to tell that kid to keep his head up, it's gonna far worse than he can possibly comprehend and that's no excuse for my behavior, but sometimes it doesn't completely suck.
Fortunately, I received that picture after a day of walking around catching Pokemon and had no energy to go out and get a six pack of something hoppy. If I did, I would've gotten pizza. I realized this morning that I had to get out of the house again because my trigger for drinking is boredom and being trapped inside with my thoughts about how much I miss that guy and his usable left side and absolute freedom to dye his hair crazy colors and his style would necessitate at least forty ounces. At this point, I'm okay, I've got my custom turntable in a shopping cart, ready for if I can make it.
I just can't stop thinking about that kid.
said Tommy T. at 8:00 PM - #
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