Wednesday, February 17, 2016

I got a call from my boss this morning telling me that tomorrow's paycheck will include my yearend bonus, because I work at a job now that gives bonuses. Bonuses that are non-trivial amounts of money. Had I had a banner year, he told me, bonuses max out at 7.5% of your yearly pay. I didn't have banner year because that's not who I am, but I'm still getting a substantial payout, which is absurd to me and has left me feeling guilty because does this make me fatcat banker? Am I someone from that Frank Turner song that says "I've got friends that are bankers and it's an easy rhyme to call them wankers"? Damn, I don't know. I do know that I've got to be less stingy with myself, though. I've got a decent bit saved for a down payment on a condo, but that's not something I'm jumping into right now. I want to bide my time with all that because I'm still kind of holding out hope that I'm not going to jump into home ownership alone, which I'm aware is all kinds of misguided, but I worry that I'll realize I'm capable of doing this shit on my own and then not want to really deal with actually not being able to do shit on my own when someone finally does come along that interests me for more than just a fleeting moment.

said Tommy T. at 7:03 PM - #

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