Friday, February 20, 2015

This girl at work has started, out of the blue, saying hi to me, which is setting off alarms in my head that something's up. Like she'll go out of her way to make sure I notice her saying hi. Completely alien concept to me. Thing is, I look at this girl, as I have for the almost two years I've worked at this place and I see her as the kind of girl who wouldn't ever talk to me because she'd genuinely have no reason to. I mean, she's pretty attractive and could easily get just about any guy's attention, supported by the fact that I've seen guys attempt to chat her up while she's working out in the fitness center while I'm there. Guys that are in far better shape than I am. Guys that aren't disabled. Why me?

I think it's an opportunity to take care of that resolution to actually ask a girl out in person. But now that that's in my head, I'm way overthinking the situation, to the point where I'm typing shit out. Perhaps it's best to not think about it a lot, strike up actual conversation about where out lives overlap, which isn't much apart from the both going to the fitness center every night.

It's hard not to think about, though, and I don't know if that's a good way to go about it because it's been happening for about a week and a half, that I'm aware of, and have only really though that something was up for a few days. She looked a little frustrated that I wasn't saying hi to her first, but I'm going to blame that on the fact that I don't really believe that there's any possibility that someone like her could find anything of interest in a guy like me. Previously, the thought had never even crossed my mind that it could be a thing.

I'm not going to say it's a thing I'd be against because it seems like it could be fun. She seems like a nice cool person, which just makes it even more confusing because why would she want anything to do with me? It's a completely nonsensical idea, like chocolate kite or something. That's probably not a healthy way to think but a woman having any real interest in me at all is completely foreign and kind of scary, because, god, what if she is? What if she'd actually like to be seen in public with me? What the fuck do I do then?

said Tommy T. at 7:29 PM - #

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