Sunday, November 17, 2013

I was on the quest to get a new roasting pan yesterday because my old roasting pan was shoddily made and its handles are screw on rather than riveted and, when you apply long sessions of heat to a screw on thing, the screw tends to not hold. I nearly lost a roasted chicken last year when the handle decided to come unhinged. I think I can do better than their "5 day sale" price because they had the same price on the stainless steel riveted one with the same "5 day sale" price stipulation.

While bopping around I remembered that winter is coming around again and that I hate my current winter jacket because it was purchased when the steroids made me fat and I therefore had to get a not so form fitting jacket and it's a constant reminder of a time I'd rather forget. The stretch marks are all the reminder I need of that. I stopped by the Brooks Brothers store to see their selection of winter jackets and I was greeted by a stone cold looking bitch of a woman who looked at me as thought to say "How dare YOU step into my store with your blue jeans on and your purple shoes!" In that moment, I understood how the lady in Pretty Woman felt. This store is way above my station, which I realized when I found a nice slim heavy jacket whose fabric was thick enough to protect on walk in January or February. All the other jackets I had seen that day were thin with shitty insulation, devised by some asshole designer who thinks winter is anything 40°. Riverwest seems to not reach -40° or fucking cold because of the lake being a mile away, but it still gets close to negative 40, so bitch ass fall jackets aren't going to cut it. I realized my error of stepping into this store when I saw the $700 price tag and I took Jesus' name in vain and the stone cold bitch looking lady asked if she could help me, knowing that $700 for one jacket that probably doesn't have its own furnace isn't something I felt happy about. That's more than I paid for a season's worth of hockey tickets five rows up from the glass. It's still less than a month's hospital bills, but it was damn close.

I spent the rest of my afternoon trying to justify to myself going back to that store and asking the stone cold bitch lady if they get commission and, if they do, can I get someone else to assist me. I'm pretty sure that jacket's a timeless thing because the tag said it was crafted similar to some 1890's English style jacket and it's not like I'm not going to want a nice looking jacket in the future, nor is winter going to stop coming around because global warming isn't working that quickly yet. I'd like to believe that at some point after Thanksgiving, they'll discount that shit, but it seems like that might be one of those stores that doesn't do sales because the bourgeoisie don't need sales to buy jackets. The thing that concerns me is, does that jacket scream "Please, mug me!"? Walking to work could become a thing for me again when we move to our new location, just off of MLK, so not a part of town you necessarily want to walk home on at 5:00 at night.

said Tommy T. at 12:36 PM - #

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