Saturday, February 09, 2013

I decided I needed to try some retail therapy because I've been feeling an unending winter starting to wear on me. Earlier this week, I was at the mall and I saw a shirt on the mannequin that looked pretty slick, so I headed to that store to find that shirt. The bald shop owner greeted me and let me know that shirts were buy one, get one 25% off and he let me on my way. I found what I was looking for and noticed only two on the rack, and looked at the tag to check the size. Even though I've gained ten pounds since moving here, I'm still a size small and I want to flaunt not being fat while I've got it, so I need something fitted looking. The tag says $150. For a shirt? Yeah, it's a dress shirt, but is it bulletproof to justify that price tag? I'm thinking to myself "How do I get myself out of this store without letting on that I don't want to spend that kind of money on clothes?" Because of my stroke, I can't pump my left arm, so I can't run. Rather than beating a hasty retreat, I made my way to the back where I assumed there would be a clearance rack. The "clearance rack" had equally nice looking shirts that were marked down to $139 a shirt. So as to not look like a classless rube, I looked through the rack to find one to try on. I picked a winner and made my way to the dressing room. Tried it on. Damn, that looks good on me. Can I justify this? I don't have hospital bills to pay or anything and my wardrobe could use a new addition and I want to try to look good for that girl at work, so, yes, I can. I bring my find to the counter and the bald man asks me if there's anything else I'd like to look at to take advantage of the 25% discount. "Would you like something with that same kind of fitted look? This one's a little different than that and will take advantage of your thin frame." Fuck yeah, I'll try that on! I've been feeling like shit for two weeks now and maybe this'll make me feel better about myself and damn, that one looks good on me, too. So I spent more than a month's rent on two shirts. That's a hospital bill right there. This kind of thing is entirely uncharacteristic of me, but this is my attempt at being Barney Stinson, minus the whole womanizing thing that I can't get behind. I'm an asshole, but I'm not that big of one. I'd like for that girl to say "Wow, you look really nice today." Will this give me the confidence I need to make a move? Likely not, but trying something new for a change sounds like a good idea. I really hope that guy makes commission, it would make me feel better knowing that guy's eating a great meal tonight because I bought an overpriced shirt that looks good on me.

said Tommy T. at 8:24 PM - #

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