Saturday, January 19, 2013

Trying to think of a new website layout because this one hasn't changed in seven years, which means it's as lame as the 90's(No, It's not going to be cool next week with the hipsters with ironic glasses and shorts in the terrible coffee place). Unfortunately, I haven't flexed this muscle in years, not since 2008 when I dropped out of my web development degree to join the exploited working class where these skills were frowned upon by everyone in that company except for the nearly retarded H.R. lady whose job it was to keep up the company intranet. The day she called me on my lunch break so I could fix some link that she forgot to close with a ‹/a› wowwed her to the point where she offered to have me do this kind of thing more often, but I let her know the angry fat guy wouldn't appreciate me adding that to my duties. The fun part is, I don't know what's kosher anymore. In that five-ish years since I stopped my schooling, IE has incremented by four versions(I hear IE10 is part of Windows 8, I operate exclusively in Linux these days, so I don't know.), becoming less of a laughing stock of incompatibility with standards. So, before I can even start, I have to figure out what the shit is popular these days in web design. Does IE handle rounded corners in CSS? Can't everything be done in two lines of code in HTML5? Can I make this shit read to you likt Stephen Hawking's voicebox thing? Should I bother with mobile browsers? No to that one, if you're reading websites on a phone, you're an asshole and therefore I want to kill you. I mean, literally stab your head off with my flacid dick. So, now the fun begins. I have to work on this project in silence because my receiver decided the heat of July was too much for its ten year old internals to handle. That complicates things, because, to spark my creativity back in the day required angry music, black coffee, odd hours of operation, and packages of york peppermint bites. I don't think those even exist anymore. I should have looked for them at the specialty market in Oak Creek that has Sriracha peas(Like Wasabi peas, only edible). Expect no changes in the near future to this space, unless I can think of a nifty way to enable all sorts of RSS sorcery that'll blow your feeble clerk mind. And I've got to figure out how to re-enable comments. No one reads this garbage, but it would give me piece of mind.

said Tommy T. at 4:06 PM - #

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