Monday, January 28, 2013

I wanted to write about my crazy weekend with my bro's friend Jared, which was a weekend that culminates with Ryan telling me "Yeah, I think he was drinking milk and Schnapps yesterday morning.", which explains a lot. I wanted to type about that because it was crazy fun that I'm probably too old for, but I can't type about that because the upstairs neighbor was pacing around at three o'clock this morning and I couldn't fall back to sleep again. No amount of shitty work coffee is going to enable me to concentrate enough to transpose thoughts about this nuts weekend.
My thoughts while trying to fall asleep went to what to do about this situation with this girl I want to take out for coffee. I'm not sure what it is I'm worried about. Am I worried I'll be humiliated if she says no? No, that's not it, every day of my life that I drag myself out of bed is humiliating because I have an arm that doesn't work. Okay, if that's not it, then it must be that I'm worried about if she says yes. Why would that be? Well, I don't like explaining why it is that I have an arm that doesn't work, which is kind of a thing you have to talk about and explain. And what if that's somehow not a dealbreaker? Based on our conversations, she's out in the suburbs, I live in Riverwest, which suburban white people refer to as the ghetto because the houses aren't nice and new. The area hasn't been gentrified yet, so if you walk down the back alley at night, you're gonna get jumped or that raccoon that's the size of my mom's dog is going to fuck up your shit. That's a problem because I don't like the suburban white yuppies who are frightened of black people. You're perfectly safe in my part of town as long as you don't do something stupid, like take a shortcut down an unlit alley.
So I don't want to ask this girl out because I don't want her to judge me because I live in a poor part of town? Yes. "Come on, Tom. You don't go for girls that are assholes. If you did, who the fuck cares? Assholes are assholes."
So, is this a bad idea? Absolutely! It's a terrible fucking idea. I mean, the thing I'm looking forward to the most in the next month is an episode of a cartoon that may have Neil Patrick Harris voicing Prince Gumball. I'm 32 now, I'm too old for that kind of thing. But I don't even remember the last time I got a hug and I'm all about that.

said Tommy T. at 9:58 AM - #

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