Sunday, January 01, 2012

I now know what MTV smells like. I got to spend time situated between two dudes wearing too much cologne. One named Broseph, one named Broham. Turns out light beer CAN make you fat. Wheelchair Jimmy dances and sings on the TV while I sip my Hamms faster than normal so I can make my way out of this situation. I'm hoping the voodoo priests are right about the luck bestowing properties of Hoppin' John on New Year's Day ans skippin' Jenny on January 2. I look behind me at the one legged dude and realize things could be worse as he kissed the biggest woman for blocks.That woman is going to rock his world and pass out on top of him tonight. I'm glad times like these don't cost more than $1.25.

I'm sipping my celebratory whiskey, I busted my ass at the gym this morning because there was a cute redhead there who didn't want me to talk to her, reminding myself that here's to another god damned new year while I try to figure out if there's a place where I can karaoke that Gladys Knight and the Pips song about how she'd rather live in his world with him than in her own world alone.It made me happy to spend part of my new year with Charlie Brooker take the piss out of the previous year better than any other person, British or American, possibly could.

said Tommy T. at 12:58 AM - #

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