Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Why do I call Satan a her? Not only does she look like my fifth grade teacher, but she has five boobs. Not moobs, she's pretty ripped otherwise. The penis hands kind of throw you off, though.

She told me the easy part is over now. Meeting Miles Davis, John Coltrane and hearing about Charlie Parker is just part of the initiation. It's just something she does to get the morons who think Miles, John, and Charlie are the dudes from It's Always Sunny. I can imagine their disappointment when they find out those dudes are black jazz musicians and it makes me happy seeing the looks on their newly initiated faces. You're not supposed to be happy here, but I'm finding my niche in this place. I ran into Warren Zevon and asked him to play me something other than his song about Werewolves and he breathed a sigh of relief because that's what they all want to hear. So he played me The hockey song with the only piano that's somehow in tune down here and followed it with my favorite song of his, Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner and he reminded me to enjoy every sandwich. It's a little late for that at this point. Supposedly, my job starts soon. I'm tasked with keeping up all the 486 computers they've got around here. They've even got the turbo button which doesn't actually do anything, it's more of a placebo to get you over the fact that you're still on old dialup. I'm told if I do well, I can possibly move up to troubleshooting issues on the token ring network at hell's bank.

said Tommy T. at 4:31 PM - #

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