Monday, December 19, 2011

There's a big party in hell today because we received Kim Jong-il. He was moved to the front of the processing line right away to get his torment started immediately. He was given his number, 15, and shown to his office in the ninth circle. They trucked in cake in celebration from the third circle, where all the gluttons go. Sad place that, all the fatasses from Wal-mart, the diabetic ones who lose a leg because they're so fucking fat and can't control themselves from eating just one more caramel apple. So there's all these blind fat people forced to eat shit-tons of food while laying on the ground. Why are they blind? So they're forced to spend eternity unable to see shit, living like they spent their lives only looking out for themselves. It's a stinky place. All that food and no one to clean up the shit. Cleaning up shit is G.G. Allin's job and even he doesn't go into the third circle because of an eternity's worth of fat people shit piles up in there and no one wants to clean up chimichanga shit. They feed the fatasses cake, Chinese, pork fat and all kinds of processed food. Whatever they can find that has little to no actual nutrition. No veggies if they can manage it.

Kim's job isn't going to be much better. The ninth circle is a cold place. Really fucking cold. Winnipeg cold, where all the damned are encased in ice up to their necks. He's going to have one heck of a time when it comes time to Zamboni that sheet of ice his body is encased in. Satan's the lucky bastard that gets to Zamboni that shit and you better believe he smokes a cigar and beeps his horn with a smile as he passes each of the damned.

said Tommy T. at 6:00 PM - #

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