Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Sorry, I had to do that. See, Hanna looks at this site, maybe that drove her off for good. I like to have her checking up on me, it's good to know she still cares. Her checking up on me gives me hope that she'll one day return to me, but she won't. I don't blame her. I messed up any chance of her coming back. Ever. I also don't like that she can check up on me, but I'm not supposed to care about her day to day or worry about her like she worries about me. Yes, I burn myself whenever I cook, but I very rarely cook anymore. Hell, a lot of days, I don't eat at all because I don't deserve it.

I've treated her poorly this year. I'll own up to that. I took advantage of the help she offered. She cleaned, she cooked, she helped me get dressed, she tied my shoes(which is very embarrassing), she spoke with doctors and asked the right questions, she readied my medications, and she'd prod me to shower, which I don't like to do because it reminds me that my left side doesn't work, I'd even turn down couples showering, steroids take your testosterone, which leaves you completely uninterested in naked chicks. Since breaking up, I've been a complete shit as well, you read this stuff, you know. I caused her heart palpitations. I've been rotten. I'm just seriously worried that the next guy won't treat her right, too.

said Tommy T. at 6:24 PM - #

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