Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I need to kill time until 4:15 when I leave work, go home, grab my shit and then drive to Milwaukee for the night to the hit the airport tomorrow morning. I've printed off the schedule for the weekend and highlighted the bands that I absolutely can't miss and I've cursed the person who created said schedule for Too Many Daves overlap with Nothington, cloak/dagger overlap Toys That Kill and Off With Their Heads overlap Anchor Arms, among other scheduling conflicts that'll mean I'm going to miss crucial bands. So to get my mind occupied on not looking at the clock for the next two hours, allow me to write about the haunted cemetery I visited.

First, we need to go back on how it came about that I had to visit this haunted cemetery. I like watching those shows on the Discovery channel where they visit various haunted places throughout America, film them, and then provide their evidence, or lack thereof, on their show. I was watching one of these shows a year ago with my buddy wherein they told the story of some high school kids who looked shit up on the internets and decided to give it a go, not telling one of their friends about what to expect. The kids said they sat on the mausoleum, got pushed off, saw the Indian chief and heard strange voices. Now, my buddy is a skeptic whereas I want to believe, but I'm not going to believe some god damn high school kids looking to get on the TV. So I suggested to my very skeptical friend that we try it out, as Green Lake is south central Wisconsin and within reasonable driving distance. Despite the fact that "ghosts aren't real", dude wasn't in for that kind of excursion because "What if we do get pushed off the mausoleum and then attacked?"

Not willing to let this thing go, I mentioned it to Hanna on a few occasions and then she saw the very same episode of the Hauntings show I saw and it was decided we need to visit this. Have I ever mentioned that she's very much a keeper?

Given a Saturday with nothing else much to do, it was decided that it was time to do this. We got our directions, did some light research on Chief Highknocker, and I'm not making that up, that's the name on the dude's creepy gravestone, and set off to get pushed off a mausoleum by an apparition.

After getting lost, we arrived at the cemetery in question at about dusk only to find that there was a bed and breakfast right next to the cemetery, which I didn't know about despite searching for that very thing the week previous. I don't know that I'd stay at an Inn next to a cemetery whose spectres I'm specifically trying to piss off because I don't really know how ghosts work, I don't want the thing to follow me and haunt me in my room. We walked around the perimeter of the cemetery until we found the chief's gravestone, which is seriously the weirdest gravestone I've ever seen, boasting a portrait of the deceased Indian chief, who supposedly died while drunkenly trying to swim across the Fox River, which, in that area, isn't all that wide. The thing is, the gravestone lists Chief Highknocker as living 91 years, so, while I'm sure the drunkenness played a part in his death, being old certainly aided things. If I'm still drinking heavily at 90 and I decide it a wonderful idea to swim any kind of channel, no matter its length, I won't be surprised when I die, either, nor will I haunt anyone when I do.

After getting pictures of the gravestone belonging to poor Chief Highknocker, we checked out the mausoleum. Naturally, I thought it wise to sit on the thing almost immediately, hoping to get pushed off. If you look at any pictures of this mausoleum, you'll notice its odd, curved shape. If you sit on the lower ends, it would make sense that you'd fall off, possibly believing that you were pushed. So rather than risk proving or disproving this theory because of my own clumsiness, I moved to the more stable topside of the monument. It was getting darker at this point, adding to the distinct creepiness of our scenery. I was quite scared but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. No spectral Indian chiefs, no odd whispery voices, no strange lights.

After sitting on the mausoleum for at least twenty minutes, we noticed we were being watched by someone in a very real, very large pick-up truck and decided that perhaps it was wise to leave. I can't say we've disproved the existence of ghosts in this particular spot, I've read that you need to wait until dark before shit actually happens, 7:30 or 8 o'clock isn't quite prime time for ghosts, so perhaps another more covert visit is in order. I haven't seen the pictures that were taken, so I can't confirm or deny the presence of orbs or any other ectoplasm, nor to I possess any equipment like the dudes in the shows have to capture EVP, so I can't provide evidence that's easily explainable as something else, I can, however, say that I was sufficiently creeped the fuck out the whole time I was there, but that would happen no matter what cemetery I was in at dusk.

said Tommy T. at 2:54 PM - #

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