Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I'm working on this engineer's computer at work yesterday, this is the guy who started here a year ago and it was his first time actually ever working on a computer, so I had to "fix" his computer because the monitor kept turning off every twenty minutes. He didn't understand power-saving mode and he didn't iterate to me that it was only after twenty minutes of inactivity, so I was lead to believe that it happened EVERY twenty minutes, no matter what. After two weeks of battling that problem, I learned the most important lesson yet: Never assume that your user knows anything about anything.

So, anyways, I'm working on this man's machine because he's got a database that he's saved in five different places and he wants me to figure out which one's the correct one that other users should be linking to. FML. Rather than trying to navigate a person's computer desktop that has hundreds of icons, sometimes arranged to look like something else, I prefer to hit the windows key and R to bring up the run dialog box and start programs from there. I probably shouldn't do it that way because it's one of those things that makes people think that I'm some sort of magical wizard but it just makes things easier. When I brought up the run dialog, I hit the g button so I could have it run our g: drive. Since we have autocomplete turned on, before I had the chance to hit colon, a list of what I might be wanting to run displayed. Much to my dismay, I know that this particular engineer takes his laptop home and looks at porn with it and I now know exactly what kind of porn this man looks at, or at least I can extrapolate that information from the name of the websites.

I'm most unstoked about knowing this information but I'm glad I didn't actually have to look at any of this. I'm a little scared about what might be in his My Documents folder, which gets backed up to our servers, meaning I don't want anything potentially bad on there. This gentleman got volunteered to be a test user for our new virus scanning software without his knowledge.

What else do I do with this information, though? I mean, simply updating a virus scanner isn't going to keep this machine safe, and that's all I really care about. I don't want this asshole infecting multiple PCs with shit so that I have to do a shit-ton of urgent work. Do I bring this up and potentially put this guy's job in jeopardy? I don't particularly like the guy, I'm fairly certain he's the one putting out pamphlets proclaiming Obama is mandating abortions for all so that we can use fetuses as food or fuel and that god is going to turn us all into pillars of salt so he can use us on His french fries simply because we now have a not-fat, not-white guy for our president. I don't want to get anyone fired because I'm looking for a not-shitty job myself right now and it sucks.

said Tommy T. at 8:46 AM - #

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