Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dear contracting-agency-lady:

I'd like to believe you when you call me every month and say you're "trying really hard" to get me a raise, but I can't bring myself to do it. See, I know that you currently make over $6 an hour more than I do, and I'm the one who's explaining to people how to access their voicemail(and I thought I was a phone luddite...), how to spell the word password so they can log in to their email, how to connect to wireless internet and I'm the one having half hour long conversations where I try to teach users that when they're charging their laptop battery with the power cord, they're still using wireless internet and that the power cord doesn't represent a wire as it pertains to wired/wireless. Next time, contracting-agency-lady, I'm having that woman call you so you can explain it to her monosyllabically. Just to warn you, she doesn't speak that tongue click language, I tried it.

I hope you're enjoying your new Cadillac Escalade. Just think, if I continue to work here another six months, you can probably afford a BMW! Won't that look nice in the parking lot next to the Hummers your peers drive? And it'll make the guy that drives the Impala look like an even bigger bitch!

Tommy Tumult

said Tommy T. at 10:22 AM - #

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