Thursday, August 20, 2009

While contemplating whether to strangle this woman, punch her in her face or just hand her my pager and phone and congratulate her on her decision to become a helpdesk bitch and remind her that she's on call until Monday night, so her sleep can be interrupted at any moment by anyone at this mill who decides that if they can't get into their email, we can't produce paper and therefore someone needs to get paged and that someone is you, I remembered why it is I deal with these people who believe that the reason they can't print is because they were updated, finally, to IE7 and not because the printer is out of paper. I haven't quit this job this year because I need to go to Fest, I need to hang out with the rest of the dirty, smelly punk rock kids who like cheap beer, loud music and good friends. To that end, to save my sanity, to relax me, I need to order my plane tickets.

Getting plane tickets is a complex operation, many variables have to be considered. How early is too early for my brother to wake up and get me to the airport in the morning? Can I time it just right so that when my plane touches down in Jacksonville after a stop in Memphis, I have the minimum amount of wait time for the comfy bus people to get me to Gainesville an hour away? Can I further time it just right so that I have the minimum amount of wait time at the airport when it's time to leave Monday, possibly leaving enough time to get a Nathan's dog from the place in the airport? Can I fly via Nortwest so I can say I flew N.W.A.?Can I make it so that I get home not at 10:00 at night so that I don't have to sleep at the gas station rest stop when I'm exhausted?

Turns out that's all a possibility and I can do it on the relative cheap according to Kayak. But there's a catch. A very big catch. I'd have to fly in Houston. To George Bush International Airport. That's a deal breaker, I can't do it. I can't fly or be in George Bush airport. I'll pay extra for the privilege of not having to do that, thank you very much.

Now I have to figure out if I can request to not be seated next to the 89 year old guy who's flying for the first time. He was cool as hell, but picking up his meds and his soda every five minutes got old fast and I didn't like the prospect of, in the case of a water landing, having to carry the guy out of the plane but only after beating the shit out of the guy in the exit row so I could get the door open because he didn't look like I could trust him to open it.

said Tommy T. at 12:30 PM - #

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