Thursday, August 13, 2009

I knew it was too easy yesterday when I swapped out their computer with a thin client. Alarms should have gone off in my head when this new piece of equipment was put in, one that doesn't run Windows and therefore is less susceptible to viruses from illicit internet game playing.

I thought, though, that the man with arm lopped off at the elbow and a hook hand(why he didn't have them spring for a chainsaw arm or a kinder, gentler machine gun hand, I'll never know[They ask me why I refuse to wear safety shoes. I remind them that there's multiple people here missing arms or hands. If they're not supplying me with a safety helmet, safety glasses that fit over my regular glasses that allow me to see things clearly, gauntlets, and a bear proof suit, why should I bother with protecting my toes? I mean, when they lift the three ton rolls of paper with the crane, I get the fuck out of there completely, so my feet are the least of my worries.]) maybe knew what he was doing and actually understood the words I was saying when I showed him how to use it and asked him to show anyone else who had questions. Turns out "Yep." and "Uh huh." don't actually have the same meaning "Affirmative." or "Yes." I'm just happy that the man with the hook hand didn't stab me to death, though. He was the most pissed about the complete lack of a start menu and my explanation that a start menu is possibly the stupidest thing ever because why do you have to hit the start button to turn it off didn't quite appease him.

I've dealt with the flurry of requests for a start menu and to get the old machine back so that they can jockey the system once more and log in with the credentials of someone who can use the internet so that they can put viruses and spyware on my machine and then laugh at me when I come to fix it because they think I don't know what's going on. The joke, however, is on them because their quad screen setup, the one where they have the weather on one screen, the intranet page on another, their actual work on the third and the fourth one blank, is the next to go. Though, when that goes, I WILL be getting impaled by the man with the hook hand. Maybe they'll have my bear proof suit in by then.

said Tommy T. at 3:46 PM - #

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