Monday, July 20, 2009

Let me tell you, for as much as I hate my job, once in a while I get something handed down to me from Dod himself where I'm told "This is your chance to stab back. Make me proud, motherfucker!" Today I was given one of these.

One of the HR plebes ran into my office, panicked, telling me that they can't get sound working for the video running off some guy's laptop and they need this because it's harassment training day for the mill workers. If the sound doesn't work, our guys and gals won't know how to treat people properly(I question the effectiveness of this training after getting bitched at last week because my work phone stays at work and therefore won't answer it when someone calls it at 9:15 at night to get their home computer working).

"Okay, don't panic. Are you using the mill's laptop that I know is set up to work or is it a non-mill laptop?"

"Non-mill. That's probably why it doesn't work, huh?"

"Not necessarily, but I'll let you know, I'm not supposed to support something that's not ours. If I break it, it's not my problem."

I get to the scene, they're in the middle of training, a mill full of employees who know who I am watching me. The guy giving this presentation, who looks like a late 30's I.T. douche in a tie looking unimpressed at me tells me he had it working earlier, showing me that he had unplugged the sound system from our laptop, which "isn't fast enough to run the video", and plugged it into his.

"I'll get out of your way so you can have a look", but he doesn't move, but rather unplugs the speakers and continues to look in Powerpoint for the reason it won't work. Clearly, the helpdesk guy with the weird hair who hasn't shaved in a week doesn't have a fucking clue.

"Does the laptop the speakers were plugged into need to be on?"


But dude continues to try to turn the laptop that was already on on. He fumbles with the tab on lid that allows you to open it when it's closed.

"Does that turn on the laptop?"

"No, that opens the lid. The laptop is already on, but I assure you that doesn't make a difference."

I let him continue to struggle, knowing full well what his issue is, while trying and failing to shoo him out of my way to resolve this one. I look out at the room full of millworkers who don't really want to be here, but it beats working, and I can tell that, in their heads, they're saying "Just get the fuck out of his way, he can fix this!" because they know. I finally get him to move, plug the speaker back in and open the cabinet and turn on the power to the receiver the speakers are hooked up to.

"Betcha you've got sound now!"

"You mean you have to turn it on for sound to come out?"

I only wish I had purchased a sonic screwdriver and had it along to make the dude like like a bigger moron by waving it in front of the receiver and saying some magic words just like the Doctor. Nevertheless, there was a conference room full of mill employees smirking at the fact that the douche in the tie whose job it is to know this kind of shit, who probably makes three times what I do in a year was outsmarted by the scraggly helpdesk guy whose job it isn't to fix computers for non-mill employees while at work.

said Tommy T. at 1:15 PM - #

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