Tuesday, June 30, 2009

...I can't endure the depths of human stupidity much longer without slipping...

Case in point: The man at work who has a Dwight Shrute bobblehead on his desk, I suspect not because he's a fan but because Dwight is his hero and archetype for the perfect mill manager, submitted a ticket, which is how you get assigned a chunk of my time to fix your issue. The issue as described in his ticket was "please install the start menu on that new computer".

The new computer in question was what's known as a thin client, named so because there's really no operating system on it, it essentially runs software off of a server. If this thing doesn't have "the internet hose" plugged in, it's completely useless. There is no Windows on this machine, therefore no way to "install the start menu."

I might forgive that kind of thing because the people using that barely understand how do much more than download jpegs of boobs on "compooters", except for the fact that I showed their entire crew how to use it when we put it out last week. I knew I was in for trouble when I explained the no Windows thing and one started trembling in fear, one had a confused look on their face as though I just used the word antidisestablishmentarianism in a sentence and there's far too many syllables for that one to make any sense at all, and the other one had his mouth wide open with a steady stream of drool coming out the side, looking very much like television's Stimpy.

Tickets for Fest go on sale tomorrow. That's my light at the end of the tunnel, what I've been waiting for all damn year. This year, it's getting done right, staying at the Holiday Inn, right in the heart of it all. I'ma find where my Canadian Fest friends got that gallon jug of Bushmills last year and I'm throwing down extra hard this time. And if I ride the elevator with the lead singer of Bouncing Souls again or I play kickball with the guy from Mustard Plug or I see Cobra Skulls or Atom walking down the street, they're getting high fives, even if Atom has his Flyers jersey on. You can be damn sure that when I eat at Warren's new restaurant, you can bet he's getting a high five and probably two thumbs up.

said Tommy T. at 9:56 AM - #

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