Thursday, February 19, 2009

My bank statement yesterday told me that I've got a good chuck of change in the bank and when I finish my taxes and tell them to send it through, there will be more in there.

With Lent coming in a week and me attempting to give up the sin of Onan again, I figure I may need some help occupying my mind for those forty some odd days(Sundays DO count. Eat it, Catholics), so it may well be time to buy a television.

Having a job this time around is going to make it easier because you don't commit the sin of Onan at work, unless you're really fucking weird. I don't think Avril Lavigne is due to do a Maxim spread this time around, so I should be in the clear there. Even if she does, I don't have a friend in this town that will point that out for me, so I wouldn't even know about it if she did. My only worry, my weakness, is Anne Hathaway. She's on the cover of every one of those magazines they place strategically in the supermarket so that they make women feel bad about themselves. If she does some crazy awesome spread or even shows her face, I may well be in trouble. That's where the television could help me. All I'd have to do is turn on that Rachel Getting Married movie and I'll be okay. That movie was such a flaming pile of absolute shit that I won't need to rub one out because I'll be too disgusted and horrified to be able to do it. If that doesn't stop me, there's always Brashear highlights.

Apart from masturbation, I'm also giving up cigarettes for Lent, so I'm going to become one cranky asshole and the more I've got to keep me occupied, the better. The giving up smokes has less to do with Lent and more to do with the fact that my elected governor, who I sure as hell didn't vote for, mandated a 75 cent tax increase on the price of a pack. Bastard. I have a feeling it's going to be a long 40+ days, with or without a television.

said Tommy T. at 1:53 PM - #

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