Monday, December 01, 2008

The past few days, I've gotten an empty feeling wishing that Tomsgiving wasn't over or that I could do the whole day again. I wouldn't change anything about it at all, it was pretty much perfect the way it was. The high stress of it all, while trying to make it come together and saying to my buddy, while I'm drinking my beer "Get me another beer, sir!" "But you're not done with that one." "What? You think I'm not going to finish this one?" or when I was in four places at once "Do you need help, Tommy?" "No thanks, I'm in the zone. The cooking zone." while closing the oven door with my foot and getting my cranberries out of the fridge. "You ARE in the zone!". Word. And so now that there's not people in my house and there likely won't be for a while, it's kinda empty again. In the five months or so that I've lived there, Andrea's probably only the second female to enter the Fortress of Solitude and that's a sad statistic if I've ever heard one.

I received one of those really good compliments, the ones that I want to keep a recording so I can play it back when times aren't so hot, from Andrea. Brent had given her the tour of the Fortress of Solitude, and she'd already asked me if I didn't have a television and said she doesn't have one either. She said to me "I like the way you live, Tommy." I don't know why, but that one just makes me smile. I don't live all that nice, my place certainly isn't a palace, nor is it much of a fortress. Most days, when I get home from work, I sit down and stare at the ceiling for hours trying to cool down from my day and then I go to bed. Sometimes there's food making, record listening, dishes, laundry, and beer drinking in there, but it's mostly me sitting down staring at the ceiling calming myself and wondering where a person goes to meet people that isn't a bar. That's why you're not allowed to call me about computer issues, because, when you do that, I have to start the calming process all over. So when someone tells me "I like the way you live", they're obviously not seeing how I do live, but that's okay with me, because I like the way I live, too. I'm not a lowly, scummy bachelor but I'm not some high and mighty king. I get by. And that's really all I can ask for.

said Tommy T. at 12:24 PM - #

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