Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I want to do one about how my Fest experience changed me and how I want you to come with me next year but that one can wait.

Dear D's,

Your guy won. Congratulations. Please don't be r-tards and think that an new Renaissance begins now. That's simply not happening because one guy won one election.

Truthfully, I'm worried about you guys. See, I don't trust your D's any more than I trust an R. Politicians are assholes all the way around no matter what letter they use to define themselves. But you D's now control the presidency, the house and the senate. It's not a giant majority, but you've got some power now and it's like the lame Spiderman says "With great power comes great responsibility." There was an SNL skit back when SNL was funny and didn't take on cast members someone simply because they looked like someone else wherein Chris Farley as Newt Gingrich was residing over the R's and they'd bring up a bill to pass. Without even thinking, all the R's say Yea and the shit passed. It got to a point where Farley wouldn't even finish explaining the bill before they Yea'd it. Don't let that happen. Research your shit. Remember that patriot act thing that only one of your people voted against? Russ Feingold from Wisconsin is the only one of you with reading comprehension skills? You'd best enroll in some of our schools and right quick so you can remedy that situation.

Now I've got another problem with your people, D's. You're hypocrites. I was out at a bar last night because I knew the Clinton Youth would be out either celebrating like it was New Year's or drowning their sorrows, either way, much alcohol would be involved and those are good odds. I worked my way to your people's headquarters in town to partake of their free beer and champagne and listened to the douchey guy who took a semester off from Madison to volunteer for the campaign up here. The guy mentioned something about caring for the environment or the earth or something, I don't remember, you fuckers just kept doling out champagne. Anyways, that struck a chord with me because, for the past week, every day your people have been putting these large door hanging ads on my front door reminding me to vote(thanks for that, by the way. I wasn't home over the weekend, so the door hanging thing that you put out Friday stayed there all weekend, almost welcoming someone to break in to my house because no one was home.). I understand those things are made of paper, which you have to cut down trees to make. Cutting down trees isn't exactly environmentally friendly. You might want to look in to that.

Another thing I have a problem with is the guy who says "Fuck yeah! We can get out of Iraq and Afghanistan now!" No, asshole. We can get a lot of troops out there, but we're not done by any means. No we help them rebuild. And I'm not talking about McDonald's and Wal-marts. Give them schools, churches, access to internets. Train them how to do a job. Just packing up our shit and saying "Whelp! It's been fun but you're on your own." is a bad idea. Do you know how OBL got started? Our own CIA trained him and his people to fight the invading USSR forces to stop the spread of communism. When the ruskies finally gave up, we packed our shit and left. We didn't even take the guns we gave them back. We didn't help them rebuild houses, schools, society. Russia wouldn't help them, we wouldn't help them, so they were left on their own to try to start again. Wouldn't that piss you off something fierce? So no, we're not just marching out of there never to think of them again.

In closing, D's, good luck fixing the mess you're inheriting. Unfortunately for you, people are going to expect results from you, and fast. I'm betting if things don't look a little less bleak by next election cycle, you fuckers will be out of a job.

Tommy Tumult

P.S.: I wrote in no one and you still won. FUCK YOU AND ALL THAT YOU STAND FOR for trying to scare me into voting for your guy. You're no better than the god damned Christians who, if you don't believe in their bullshit based on its virtues, will try to scare you into their side by promising you eternal hellfire. I told you my vote only counts for one. If it counted for more, my bro would be pretty pissed at me right now with his new found job as D.A. of Stevens Point.

P.P.S.: Thanks for winning, contrary to popular belief, voting conservative isn't "punk rock".

said Tommy T. at 9:53 AM - #

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