Friday, September 12, 2008

Dear radio station I used to volunteer for:

I don't know what kind of bullshit you're pulling here, but it's really got me annoyed. See, I used to do this punk rock radio show, we called it Rock 'n' Roll Radio after a Ramones song. I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but that radio show fucking ruled the airwaves. When I left my radio show to pursue a college education so I wasn't mining potatoes for the rest of my life, I left it in good hands, my brother's. When he left a couple years later, he also left it in able hands, that of our friend Mike(aka Ekim). In your infinite knowledge, you threw Mike the off the air for smoking in the studio, a dumb move on his part, yes, but your own "Oz", who holds more say at the station than any non-student should, has likely done far worse than smoke a cigarette in the studio.

I only bring this all up because I'm listening to your current, unnamed punk radio show and I've got to say, the gentleman you have in charge of this thing seems to be a retard or knows absolutely nothing about the music he's playing or both. The man played a solid half hour of Dead Kennedys. Now, I love Dead Kennedys just as much as the next aging punk rocker, but if I wanted to listen to a half hour of their music, I'd probably play their cds myself instead of tuning in to hear it on a radio station. Perhaps your guy was merely thrust into this position with no previous knowledge of this genre of music and is merely taking cues from your higher ups on what is punk rock and has only gotten to chapter 1 of his lessons. Maybe he's some 16 year old "anarchist" who just discovered them and thought a band who sings about urinating on the Capitol building because he loves our country so much and is angry about what its become is pretty awesome, dude.

Now your boy has gone from his Dead Kennedys cd to an Iggy Pop tribute album. All I've got to say is Monster Magnet covering Iggy is not punk rock. I know for a fact the station has actual Iggy albums and, buried in the back room with the rest of the classic punk vinyl, there's a Stooges record that I should have lifted when I left. My guess is, though, that this young punx doesn't even know how to operate your turntables, and quite possibly thinks that they're some sort of crazy pizza warming device.

I'm not going to volunteer my services just yet to revive your clearly ailing radio station. See, I'm going to Fest, which will involve me being absent on a Friday night, and I know you frown on missing a shift, no matter what the reason, so you can't have me just yet. Rest assured, though, former radio station, that if I'm allowed to return Rock 'n' Roll Radio(maybe we'll call it Radio Radio this time), I'll play more than five different artists during my four hour shift. Hell, I'll probably even play bands that aren't even on the radar of NME, your weekly bible as to what's up and coming in the shit-in-my-ears-whydontcha hip n trendy scene. You might want to prepare yourselves for that.

Yours truly,

Tommy Tumult

said Tommy T. at 11:30 PM - #

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