Saturday, December 14, 2013
Baking a shitload of Christmas cookies makes me rethink the whole wanting to join the tiny house revolution because my already shitty inadequate kitchen is pretty tough to do actual work in. So chalk that up as another negative to that kind of living.
I had to brave the lake effect snow to get myself to the mall to get a new hand mixer because my cheap food processor broke last week and my old mixer burned out its motor almost two years ago while making pizza dough. The driving in lake effect snow thing was a bad idea and I should have gotten the mixer last night like I thought about doing. When I got my car fixed, they told me I'm in dire need of new tires, new shocks and new everything else and if I don't get that fixed, to expect to slip all over the roads. I've been leary of the hill that leads to MLK since I moved here. It's steep and I know that in shitty conditions, it'll be a problem. Because it's a road in a less than savory part of town, it doesn't get plowed as often as it should for being a main vain out of the bad part of town.So I slid on my way down the hill. Fortunately, when I hit the curb, my tires found traction and I didn't take out the bus stop sign.
When I finally got to the mall to the cooking store, it took me three minutes to say for the first time during this shopping season that I hate white people. It's a common occurrence for me since moving here to come across some idiot white person holding their Starbucks coffee standing in my way thoroughly examining some plastic piece of shit with their mouth wide open, not moving the fuck out of the way for five minutes. If you say excuse me, they look up pissed off that you broke their concentration on whatever the plastic piece of shit is. Today, they were staring at pie weights and I wanted to simply say to them "Beans." to see if they could figure out that I meant that a person can simply use uncooked dry beans to perform the exact same function as pie weights for a fraction of the cost and one could keep using those beans over and over without making them inedible.
I need to finish up my baking tomorrow because the last cookies I baked today are cookies I'm calling diabetes cookies because eating more than one with likely kill you. I ate one and its sugar caused my to crash badly to the point where I was ready to sleep at 7:00. I'm fighting that urge now with beer, which I don't think is going to work, so I'm trying to figure out what to get my dad for Christmas. I've had the idea to get him tickets to the most unfunny comedian I can find because he received tickets to the racist puppet guy last year, which he was thrilled about, and he also paid money to see Jim Belushi, which makes me reconsider my relation to him at all.The racist puppet guy is coming to town in February, but I want to get tickets to that for my mom and step-dad because they also think he's funny. Martin Short is coming to town, who I think might be too much for my dad and step-mom. Frank Caliendo is also scheduled for late January, but he's genuinely funny sometimes, so that's not going to work.There's something called Dale Earnardt Jr. Jr. coming to town, which I'm not sure is a person or a band. If it's a person, it's probably something that part of my family would like, but something tells me it's a band with a hip name that probably really sucks and wouldn't be something my dad would like.
said Tommy T. at 9:33 PM - #
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I had to brave the lake effect snow to get myself to the mall to get a new hand mixer because my cheap food processor broke last week and my old mixer burned out its motor almost two years ago while making pizza dough. The driving in lake effect snow thing was a bad idea and I should have gotten the mixer last night like I thought about doing. When I got my car fixed, they told me I'm in dire need of new tires, new shocks and new everything else and if I don't get that fixed, to expect to slip all over the roads. I've been leary of the hill that leads to MLK since I moved here. It's steep and I know that in shitty conditions, it'll be a problem. Because it's a road in a less than savory part of town, it doesn't get plowed as often as it should for being a main vain out of the bad part of town.So I slid on my way down the hill. Fortunately, when I hit the curb, my tires found traction and I didn't take out the bus stop sign.
When I finally got to the mall to the cooking store, it took me three minutes to say for the first time during this shopping season that I hate white people. It's a common occurrence for me since moving here to come across some idiot white person holding their Starbucks coffee standing in my way thoroughly examining some plastic piece of shit with their mouth wide open, not moving the fuck out of the way for five minutes. If you say excuse me, they look up pissed off that you broke their concentration on whatever the plastic piece of shit is. Today, they were staring at pie weights and I wanted to simply say to them "Beans." to see if they could figure out that I meant that a person can simply use uncooked dry beans to perform the exact same function as pie weights for a fraction of the cost and one could keep using those beans over and over without making them inedible.
I need to finish up my baking tomorrow because the last cookies I baked today are cookies I'm calling diabetes cookies because eating more than one with likely kill you. I ate one and its sugar caused my to crash badly to the point where I was ready to sleep at 7:00. I'm fighting that urge now with beer, which I don't think is going to work, so I'm trying to figure out what to get my dad for Christmas. I've had the idea to get him tickets to the most unfunny comedian I can find because he received tickets to the racist puppet guy last year, which he was thrilled about, and he also paid money to see Jim Belushi, which makes me reconsider my relation to him at all.The racist puppet guy is coming to town in February, but I want to get tickets to that for my mom and step-dad because they also think he's funny. Martin Short is coming to town, who I think might be too much for my dad and step-mom. Frank Caliendo is also scheduled for late January, but he's genuinely funny sometimes, so that's not going to work.There's something called Dale Earnardt Jr. Jr. coming to town, which I'm not sure is a person or a band. If it's a person, it's probably something that part of my family would like, but something tells me it's a band with a hip name that probably really sucks and wouldn't be something my dad would like.
said Tommy T. at 9:33 PM - #
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