Sunday, July 29, 2012
I get stressed out about my hair a lot. I'm fortunately not losing it, which is surprising, considering how bad I've treated it in the past. But since my hospital stay last year, I can't get it to stick up the way I like, no matter what I do. The lady who does my hair says it curls now, which it didn't used to do, and it's thicker. I don't know if it's different because I can't use two hands to style it or because nearly dieing changed it somehow. It's just another thing that I want to go back to normal, looking like the dude from the Jane by Design show except not looking like I put a vat of product in it. It used to be I could just sleep on it and I'd look and feel awesome. Not so anymore. It's one of those things that's been taken from me that I don't think I can get back. That's such a worthless, helpless feeling that I don't want anymore, you can have it.
The hair change can't be caused by drugs because I've been off them since November, much to the chagrin of my doctor.
"You're not taking your anti-seizure drugs? You realize if you have a seizure, you can't drive again, right?"
"You realize I'm here alone, right? I've got no one who's going to say 'Hey, you're spazzing out!' and because you can't give me long term side effects of being on this stuff, I'm not taking it. See these tiger stripes (I lift my shirt to show my stretch marks)? Thanks for warning me about that. Do you know when the last time a woman so much as smiled in my general direction? That's not rhetorical, I honestly hope you know because I don't even remember. So, no, I refuse to take your drugs."
He about shit a brick at that point.
The internet suggests that my near anorexia could be a possible cause of my hair issues, among other things. I don't know if it's because I go to the gym every day and sweat more than I've sweat in years. Maybe I need that shit that the giant douche guy has in his locker at the gym, the locker that he's only supposed to use for the day but he takes the key home anyway. This is the guy who made me want to kill myself the day I walked into the locker room and the first thing I see is him blow drying his hair completely naked. That means he showered, went to his locker, picked up his brush, set down his towel and said to himself "Fuck shorts, I want to stare at my dick while I do my hair." There's a jug of something called "hero worship" in his locker. I don't know what it is, gel?, cologne? I can smell him from thirty feet away in a different part of the gym. So it could be either. He's the kind of guy with a barbed wire tattoo on his bicep and has the same color skin as the overdone baked potato women who wear the feet shoes.
Will going full Moby and shaving it off make it grow in normally? Internet says possibly, but, with cooler weather coming, who wants to be bald?
said Tommy T. at 1:23 PM - #
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The hair change can't be caused by drugs because I've been off them since November, much to the chagrin of my doctor.
"You're not taking your anti-seizure drugs? You realize if you have a seizure, you can't drive again, right?"
"You realize I'm here alone, right? I've got no one who's going to say 'Hey, you're spazzing out!' and because you can't give me long term side effects of being on this stuff, I'm not taking it. See these tiger stripes (I lift my shirt to show my stretch marks)? Thanks for warning me about that. Do you know when the last time a woman so much as smiled in my general direction? That's not rhetorical, I honestly hope you know because I don't even remember. So, no, I refuse to take your drugs."
He about shit a brick at that point.
The internet suggests that my near anorexia could be a possible cause of my hair issues, among other things. I don't know if it's because I go to the gym every day and sweat more than I've sweat in years. Maybe I need that shit that the giant douche guy has in his locker at the gym, the locker that he's only supposed to use for the day but he takes the key home anyway. This is the guy who made me want to kill myself the day I walked into the locker room and the first thing I see is him blow drying his hair completely naked. That means he showered, went to his locker, picked up his brush, set down his towel and said to himself "Fuck shorts, I want to stare at my dick while I do my hair." There's a jug of something called "hero worship" in his locker. I don't know what it is, gel?, cologne? I can smell him from thirty feet away in a different part of the gym. So it could be either. He's the kind of guy with a barbed wire tattoo on his bicep and has the same color skin as the overdone baked potato women who wear the feet shoes.
Will going full Moby and shaving it off make it grow in normally? Internet says possibly, but, with cooler weather coming, who wants to be bald?
said Tommy T. at 1:23 PM - #
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