Thursday, January 21, 2010

The doctor said they're holding off on my operation until February, which I find very disheartening because I want the headaches to stop now. He let me go back to work on Tuesday, though, which meant I was able to get out of my house for a while. Sitting at home playing computer games gets old pretty fast, and there's only so long I can stay in bed alone before I don't want to do it anymore.

Back at work, they're finally pushing to make me an employee. I don't know if my absence made them realize that I'm an important member of this team and my computer janitorial skills keeps shit running or if they realized that a little insurance would help a guy who needs his brain radiated in less than a month. When I came back, I was floored to find that they had done a couple fund raisers to help me with my bills that are piling up. The amount of funds raised is pretty staggering and the kind things that everyone has been saying to me are very unexpected but greatly appreciated.

I still have fairly massive headaches and probably will until they radiate my head but, rest assured, I'm alive.

One of the mornings I was in the hospital, after the morning nurse had poked and prodded me with something and stolen some of my blood and pee, I felt the need to listen to a song so I could go back to sleep. Hospitals are all about taking away your dignity and making sure you're on edge the whole time you're there, so they don't let you sleep the whole night through without stealing blood or pee because they're thirsty or they feel the need to take your blood pressure despite the fact that it's been stable since you got in five days earlier. I thought it a good idea at that time to listen to an Eels song because the bullshit medication they had me on wasn't doing anything at all and they weren't about to give me anything that would help and I hoped at that moment that I would die so the pain would stop. While listening to it, I managed to start crying uncontrollably. I listened to it a few more times and then went to the one called Hospital Food because I managed to eat the worst pizza I've ever had while at the hospital and, after that song, I was able to fall asleep. Hospitals are the very worst places ever.

said Tommy T. at 10:42 AM - #

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