Monday, December 08, 2008

My own brother, one Mr. Ryan Tumult, celebrated his quarter century birthday over the weekend and I only had one celebratory beer while he visited my home. There were big plans to do more, but I go to sleep at 7:30 these days because it gets dark too soon and it's far too cold for my liking(we might actually make it over 20° today for the first time in a week, but we're getting 7-12 inches of snow tonight...).

I've given much though to my problems with women, why they're only interested for 30 days or less and then say "Okay, I hate you now, you can go away." It's because I can't get comfortable around them. I can't let myself get comfortable because the thoughts that scream in my head ask "Why is this person here with me, of all people. This has got to be an elaborate prank." and so I distance myself from them, which leads to my inevitable epic fail. Couple that with my obliviousness, and you've got the recipe for disaster.

Cases in point: This is 4-5 years ago now because I'm fucking old, we'll take Sandee, who is quite possibly the most gorgeous girl I've ever met and is a pretty awesome human being, to boot. She comes up to me one night and tells me I'm the hottest guy she's seen in this town. At first, I was positive she was talking to my buddy St. James because it wasn't uncommon for such happens to come his way back then. I move to go to the bathroom, letting St. James know I'll be right back, but she's all "No, I'm talking to you." For that entire month whenever I'd hang out with her, I couldn't accept that this person wanted anything to do with me, even though maybe she did, I think. Because I couldn't accept that, I couldn't let myself act in any kind of way that would show her that I'm at all interested in me, so a month later, that was done.

Now, let's take that time when I was sitting on a couch while watching a movie with a girl and I'm going over in my head about whether or not I should lean over and kiss this girl. We're talking a giant debate here, in my head. Movie's over and I'm still debating and it comes up what should we do next, but I'm worthless because the don't do it option is edging for a fillibuster and go for it is trying to nip that in the bud. The girl in question says "Well, we could play Twister." I can hear that now and say "Yeah, that's a GREAT idea" but because I had this debate going on, I couldn't read between the lines and instead said "Well, there's only two of us and you can't rightly play Twister with two people." I wasn't until a half hour or so later, when I was walking home and the debate was long over that I realized what I had done and that I really should bang my head against a wall because, man, I blew it. I could chalk that one up to sophomoric inexperience, but, at some point, inexperience has to no longer be an excuse and we have to accept that I really am just an idiot.

Enough of this speculation, though. This is my birthday week, and I'm going to do the boot of Guinness, even if that much stout beer makes my stomach explode and then this weekend is Birthanksmas because it's the only time I'll have for it since next week I'm on call, tethered to a god damn pager and the following week is Hanukkah/Christmas and the week following that is New Year's/Bushmills day.

said Tommy T. at 12:38 PM - #

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